UW-L dorm director sends email to students on giving women orgasms

Employee was reprimanded, not fired by Chancellor Gow

MADISON, Wis. – University of Wisconsin-La Crosse officials have reprimanded a dorm director for sending an email to residents on how to give women orgasms.

UW-La Crosse Chancellor Joe Gow told the AP today, university officials formally reprimanded Drake Hall director Jude Legiste on Friday. Gow said sending the email was unacceptable, but he didn’t believe it was a firing offense.

Legiste, a full-time employee, who earned his master’s degree in higher education administration from Louisiana State University in 2014, sent the message on Sept. 30.

The email begins, often quoting articles on sex: “It’s time to be honest about something women don’t talk about much: the orgasm deficit.”

He goes on with some graphic descriptions on how to, along with visual aids.

Legiste later continues in the first email: “If you are a straight man who sleeps with women, this guide is meant to help you to broach that divide and learn how to make women orgasm without involving your own (penis) *at all*. (Bless you for reading: Your enthusiasm and willingness to learn is a crucial first step.)”

After some more graphic description, and how to use certain tools, Legiste goes on. 

He then talks about the mental aspect of sex: “There is developing evidence that women tend to experience desire differently to most men (link to “saving your sex life website”), and the old trope that women need more foreplay than men largely holds true.”

He later sent a second email. 

It began:“Wassup? I recognize that the most recent email I sent out to the building was very polarizing. Some viewed it as a helpful and an honest conversation on a topic that rarely gets discussed. Others see it as offensive, creepy and that it was not my place (as the hall director) to send it in the first place. I want to validate all those feelings.”

Later in the email, he invited students to meet, as a group or in person.

“So Lets talk about it. 

*Next Wednesday, October 7th @ 7pm in the basement*, we will be holding a building forum on the email.

Additionally, I am *open to meeting with you on an individual basis* if you can’t make the meeting or would just like to talk with me about it. But please engage in conversation your fellow Drakers. This can be a great learning moment for all of us.”

And, finally, he sends out an apology.

The third email in its entirety: “My entire mission is to create a community in which people feel safe and welcomed. The email I sent out earlier this week was the antithesis of everything I want Drake to be.  As your hall director, it is my job to role model appropriate behavior, inclusiveness, and develop community. I failed you in all those aspects and more. This bad decision led to lots of hurt for many residents and it is important for me to acknowledge this.

To be clear, the email was inappropriate and I was wrong to send it out, no matter my intentions or underlying rationale. The email was sent on my own volition and I take full responsibility for it. While I do not believe that the email is indicative of my character, I would be remiss to not reevaluate my thoughts, behaviors and interactions with you all. I must do better and I will do better. 

I must also recognize that I have damaged my relationship with many of you. It is very understandable if you no longer want to have any interactions with me. I can only ask that you give me a chance to restore your faith in me as your hall director.

Once again. I am sorry and I was wrong.”

Legiste said to the AP on Monday that he was trying to start a conversation about how to treat women but delivered the message in an “inappropriate fashion.”